We're Not 9-1-1 Operators. We're Product Leaders.
Read on my website / Read time: 9 minutes
Here was a typical day for me as a Product Manager:
It would start with a flood of pings—emails, Slack messages, calendar invites, "quick" requests.
Before my first coffee even hit:
- Someone needed a bug fix.
- Someone else needed a status update on the latest release.
- Someone wanted to discuss a "cool new" feature idea.
- Design wanted my feedback on their latest Figma.
- Sales was asking if that one feature can ship "just a bit earlier" for a big deal.
- An executive wanted me to join an important call in 15 minutes.
- My boss was asking me to "re-send that slide you worked on".
Every sender seemed to believe their request deserved my priority treatment.
My younger self would scramble to respond to all of these as soon as they came in.
I had my notifications on. My email in one corner of my screen and Slack (or MS Teams) in the other. All while trying to finish that deck for an important meeting or that user data analysis or some product requirements.
Before I knew it, the day would be over, my brain would be hurting from all the context switching, and while it felt good to be helpful to others, I was exasperated that I hadn't really gotten anything meaningful done.
It's easy to get caught in the urgency of others.
But here's the reality that many Product Managers learn the hard way:
Not everything that's urgent to someone else is important to our product.
Most "urgent" requests aren't urgent at all. They're just poorly planned, last minute needs being dumped on to someone else's lap—i.e., ours.
The Chaos of Competing Priorities
Because we sit at the intersection of every function, we're the go-to for answers, the communicator between teams, the glue that holds strategy and execution together.
That also means we're constantly fielding pressure from:
- Sales, hoping for a new feature to win a deal.
- Support, escalating issues from frustrated customers.
- Marketing, asking for clarity on the next launch.
- Engineering, waiting on decisions to unblock progress.
- Leadership, demanding another roadmap realignment.
Every request feels immediate to the person making it. But if we try to treat all of them as urgent, we risk reacting our way through the week—without making real progress.
The Hidden Cost of Reactivity
When we're always responding, we're rarely leading.
We become a middleman instead of a leader. We become a janitor instead of a product thinker.
Worse, we lose control of our time.
Which results in losing our agency.
Which erodes our effectiveness and credibility.
Because when we constantly put other people's urgent needs ahead of our own, we unintentionally send a message:
Our time matters less. Our priorities take a back seat. Our boundaries become negotiable.
Each time we abandon our carefully planned day to respond to someone else's last-minute crisis, we're reinforcing a harmful belief:
Your disorganization deserves more respect than my preparation.
A friend shared with me a book called, Wild Courage, Go After What You Want and Get It. In transparency, I haven't ready it yet, but he shared this image from the book with me that I liked:
The result is we begin neglecting our roadmap. It gets reshaped by whoever yells loudest. Our strategy gets watered down.
And our effectiveness becomes diluted. Over time, people stop looking to us for clarity. They drift away and look to others for product strategy, vision, and leadership.
Sure, they appreciate our responsiveness. But slam us for lacking vision.
"Great team player," they'll say in their 360 degree reviews. "But we don't get strategy from Shardul. There's no product vision."
The result is:
- Burnout for us
- Frustration for everyone else
- A product that inches sideways instead of miles forward
- A career that meanders for us, leaving us confused as to what our real value is.
From Reactive to Intentional
Reaching our goals requires a firm commitment to investing our time and energy in what truly matters.
That might mean disappointing people or even saying no. And, yeah, that can and will feel awkward. (Still does to me even to this day.)
But if we're not willing to fiercely protect our priorities, those big dreams? They'll stay dreams.
It's not about ignoring others. It's about having a filter.
Here’s a simple mindset shift:
“Urgent” is someone else’s tempo. “Important” is our north star.
We need to bridge the two without losing sight of what actually matters.
Here are some strategies that have worked for me:
- Use the Eisenhower Matrix. Urgent vs. important isn't just a productivity hack—it's a survival skill.
- Anchor to your product strategy and goals. If it doesn't support these, ask why we're doing it. Or, maybe it's time to revisit the goals.
- Time-block for strategy. Don't wait for free time to strategize, talk to customers, or do thinking work—it won't show up.
- Time-block for response. Sure, some things require rapid response. For the most part, I would set aside time to respond to messages and requests, and would respond only during those windows.
Here's a more tactical approach. Try these simple questions if you need help deciding what to say yes or no to:
- Does this align with my current priorities?
- If I say yes to this, what am I saying no to?
- Am I committing to this because it matters—or because I’m seeking validation?
By the way, to be fair to others, consider the flip side: Are you the one flagging everything as high priority for others?
Then pause and consider:
- Is this truly urgent, or am I rushing because I didn't plan ahead?
- Am I respecting other people’s time and priorities?
- If the roles were reversed, would I expect someone else to drop everything for this?
Remember: When everything is urgent, nothing really is.
Empowered Communication
Contrary to what you may have been told—and what's constantly espoused on social media—the job of Product Management is NOT to say "no."
We can say "not yet" with confidence and clarity.
Here are some PM-friendly ways to reframe:
These responses build trust and protect your focus. They show that we're listening—without letting urgency hijack our direction.
Keep Your Agency
Many PMs are too quick to give up their agency. They either rely on their bosses to make all the decisions or get frustrated because they feel they're "not empowered to make product decisions."
First, decision making authority is earned, not given.
Second, not having decision making authority doesn't mean you don't have agency.
Third, constantly looking up to your boss for every little decision is giving up your agency. And that's when you're not leading as a Product Manager.
No matter where you sit in the organization, you can always retain your agency.
As an individual contributor, I made sure I understood the goals and priorities from my boss. Then, in my weekly 1:1s, I would present a simple slide or 1-pager that showed 5 things:
- My overall goals or priorities for the year, quarter, or month.
- What I worked on the previous week.
- What, if anything, blocked me from focusing on my priorities.
- My proposed priorities for the next week / several weeks.
- Where I needed help, if any.
Here's the thing:
Almost every PM Director or executive I speak with tells me they want their PMs to do this!
Instead of solely relying on my boss to set my agenda, I proposed my own agenda. This demonstrated leadership and ownership, while also allowing me to continuously realign with the top priorities and highlight any blockers.
Weak or Unsupportive Bosses
Angela (name changed) was a hard working Product Manager who was given some terrible feedback.
At first, she tried to be responsive to everything. She quickly started burning out. Her boss's feedback was, "You're a great team player, very responsive, but you're not making enough progress on your goals."
She reset and began reclaiming her time. She implemented many of the techniques discussed here.
After a few months, her boss said this:
"I'm getting a lot of feedback that you're often unresponsive or not available."
Angela was whiplashed. She reset again. After 6 months of this, she was not only questioning whether she was enjoying her job, but she began questioning her career choices. She was questioning whether she was cut out to be a Product Manager.
It's not Angela. It's her boss.
This is a toxic boss.
Her boss was weak, ineffective, and clearly didn't know how to lead.
And if you have such a boss, you should seriously question whether it's worth sticking around, or taking your considerable talents elsewhere.
Your Responsibility as a Boss
If you are a manager of people reading this, it's critical that you create space for your people to do their job and support them in doing so. Here is your responsibility:
1. Provide context.
- Set clear goals and priorities.
- Explain why. Provide strategic context often.
- Continually connect the dots between your employees' work to department and company strategies and objectives.
Goal: You want your employees to feel like their work matters.
2. Empower your team.
- Prioritize.
- Provide role clarity and decision making.
- Ensure appropriate capacity and resourcing.
Goal: You want your employees to feel like they have what they need to get their jobs done.
3. Develop your team.
- Be a proactive mentor and coach.
- Know how to give feedback. Individualize and personalize it.
- Provide long-range career advice and coaching.
Goal: You want your employees to feel like they're succeeding in their careers.
4. Educate others on the role and value of your team.
- If you don't, others will.
- Know why your team exists! It's not so you can play boss and walk around with a fancy title. Be clear the role of your team, the value it brings, and the activities it needs to do to deliver that value.
- Then champion that across the org. Use every success by the team to reinforce that.
Goal: You want your employees to feel they're part of something valuable.
5. Be a "poop umbrella".
- Be the one to take the crap when it comes your team's way.
- Protect them from unwanted distractions and unfair criticism.
- Publicly defend them in how they spend their time. Privately mentor them on effective prioritization and time management.
Goal: You want your employees to feel like you've got their back.
Failure to do these is a dereliction of duty on your part.
Lead the Work—Don't Just Chase It
A magical shift starts happening when you guard your time intentionally.
The people who rely on you learn to plan better themselves. They become more thoughtful in their planning and more respectful of your boundaries. Suddenly, what's actually urgent stands out from the noise.
Sure, some people will be disappointed. We can't please everyone all the time. Building a meaningful career—a meaningful life—requires letting a few people down, so you don’t keep letting yourself down.
Being a great Product Manager isn't about responding to everything instantly. It's about knowing what matters, and helping everyone else see it too.
So the next time a request comes flying in hot, ask yourself:
Then choose your response with intention. Your product—and your team—will thank you.
How we use our time reflects what matters most to us. And we never need to apologize for putting our priorities first.
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